A Who-Ville Christmas || Part 1
MESSAGE TRANSCRIPTION:
Well, again, we want to welcome you here at Community Church.
If this is your first time with us. My name is Dave, and I’m one of the pastors here at Community Church. And maybe it’s your first time. The first time in a long time. We’re just really glad you’re here. Come on, Community Church, let’s welcome all of our first-time guests today.
And we just want you to know that here at Community Church; it’s okay to not be okay. This is a place where you can discover faith and find freedom in God. And we just want you to know. Every single Sunday, we throw our doors wide open to you, your friends, your family. And we’re just so glad that you’re here, and we just hope that you keep coming back.
Well, how many are ready for Christmas? Come on, you guys excited about Christmas? I know I am for my favorite times of the year. And this Sunday, the first Sunday in December, we are kicking off our Christmas series that we are calling A Whoville Christmas the Gospel, according to Dr. Seuss.
How many remember Dr. Seuss? You reading those books when you’re a kid? Or maybe your mom or your dad used to read those books to you? I know when my kids were young, we had the whole collection. And we would read these great stories to our kids. How many remember a “Green Eggs and Ham” you guys remember that? That was a good one, too, “Sam, I am,” right. And then “Horton Hears a Who” or A Cat in the Hat. Or, Yeah, one of my favorites; “One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Bluefish.” You guys remember that were Fox and Socks? That was a tongue twister, wasn’t it?
Of course, one of his most well-known stories ever was “The Grinch Who Stole Christmas.” You guys know the story, right? Such a good Christmas classic. And we all know the story. All the warm-hearted Whos. We’re living down in Whoville, right?
And they loved Christmas. They loved everything about Christmas. They loved the lights and the decorations, and they loved the songs and the music and getting together with friends and family and all the food. Right. But most of all, they love to buy and to give presents to one another.
And while all the Who’s loved Christmas, they didn’t like the Grinch very much, did they right? He was a mean one, Mr. Grinch. He lived up on top of the Mountain Crumpet in a cave by himself with his little dog, Max and the Grinch, He hated Christmas. He hated it so much. He tried to cancel Christmas, remember? He went down into Whoville in the middle of the night, and he stole all the presents and all the toys. He stole all the food. He even stole the Christmas tree.
And according to Dr. Seuss, the problem that the Grinch had, it was an inside job. This is what Dr. Seuss said about the Grinch. “The Grinch hated Christmas the whole Christmas season. Now, please don’t ask why no one quite knows the reason. It could be his head wasn’t screwed on just right. It could be, perhaps, that his shoes were too tight. But I think the most likely reasonable may have been that his heart was two sizes too small.” You see Dr. Seuss, he said. The problem with the Grinch, it was really a matter of his heart. He had a heart problem.
Now I know in a room this size, all of us, we know somebody like this, don’t we, right? I mean, you think about it right now. Just think about it. All of us have a Grinch in our life, right? Are you thinking about, don’t point him out! I mean, for goodness sake, we’re in church, but we all know somebody maybe at work, or maybe we live with, you know, maybe in the neighborhood, maybe in the dorm room, maybe at school. We all have somebody that’s just like a Grinch, negative, always complaining, just grumpy, kind of like a curmudgeon. And every family has the Grinch, every work team at the office, wherever you work, they have a Grinch. And you might be sitting there thinking, “you know, I can’t think of anybody that’s a grinch.” It might be you. It just might be you.
But today, I want to talk to you. And in the series, how do you deal with the Grinch? I mean, how do you deal with just difficult people? You know, there are some Grinches out there. They’re what I call EGR people. Anybody know EGR people are? “Extra Grace Required” people, right. They just require a little bit of extra grace from us, don’t they? They just can be negative, they can just be complaining, never have anything positive to say. They can literally just suck the life, the joy, the fun, the spirit of Christmas. They just suck it right out of your soul, don’t they? Y’all all know what I’m talking about, right? We all have people like this that we know.
So today, what I want to do is I want to do my best to give you some practical advice. This. Christmas on how to deal with some difficult people, irritating, annoying people that drive you crazy to just, you know, just make you want to totally lose it. And, I want to be able to help you this Christmas, not just survive Christmas, but I want you to thrive, especially in your relationships, in your home this Christmas. And here’s what the you know, the heart of this matter is really a matter of the heart. That’s what Dr. Seuss said for the Grinch. The heart of the matter was a matter of his heart.
And so really, the series is really about a series about our heart. And it’s really important that we get this right gang. That we have good hearts this Christmas. That we all know people that can just be negative and grumpy, but we’re not going to talk about them as much as we’re really going to talk about us and our hearts. And I want to show you some principles from scripture that talk about our heart. And I believe what I have to share with you has the potential to change your heart. And my hope and my prayer in this series this Christmas is that the Holy Spirit is going to perform some spiritual heart surgery on myself, on you, on all of us. Wouldn’t that be great? Come on, if God helped us grow a healthy, loving, more grace-filled, kind, generous, forgiving heart this Christmas. And here’s why it’s important. Because this is what the Bible says about your heart.
19 As in water face reflects face,
So a man’s heart reveals the man.
Proverbs 27:19
In other words, that your life on the outside of you is really a reflection of the heart. It’s on the inside of you. And if we’re going to follow the way of Jesus, if we’re going to live like Jesus, if we’re going to follow his example, then there has to be consistency, right? Between our inner lives and our outer lives, between what’s going on in our heart and what’s going on on the outside of us. It’s matter of the heart, your life, how you respond to people. How you treat people. How you talk to people. How you handle stress and difficult situations. All of those things, how you look at others and how you perceive them, is really a reflection of your heart. And so if we’re going to live lives of character and integrity, we’re going to follow Jesus and live the kind of life that He’s called us to live. There has to be consistency between our inner life and our outer life. Are you with me? Say amen.
And so today, I want to talk to you specifically about growing a grace-filled heart. Now, wouldn’t you agree with me today that this world needs a lot more grace in it? I mean, I look at, you know, what’s happening in our world today. You read the headlines, and you scroll through your feed. And, man, it’s just so blatantly obvious that our world needs a lot more grace in it. So many people just stressed out, full of anxiety, discouraged, isolated, feeling lonely, just, you know, just, you know, struggling with depression or discouragement and, you know, pressure at home. And maybe there’s pressure work. And if we aren’t careful to keep tabs on our heart, here’s what’s going to happen. We’re going to end up hurting people, especially people that we really love.
And this series about our heart is so important that we get it right because eventually, you’re going to bump into a Grinch if you haven’t already. I mean, like, some of you might even be worse. You don’t just work with the Grinch. Maybe you married one. I don’t know. Maybe you’re. I’m looking around the room. Maybe you’re raising a teenage Grinch. I don’t know what’s going on. Maybe there’s a Grinch in the form of a family member that’s coming to your house this Christmas. So you’re just sitting there stunned and like, I don’t know what I’m going to do. This is so important because you’re going to run into a Grinch, or a Grinch is going to run into you. And here’s the deal. Whatever’s inside your heart. Is going to eventually come out in your life.
So we have to get this right. And I want to help you this Christmas because there’s so many hurting people. You know, one of my kids this week said to me, hey, dad, can my friend come over after school and just kind of hang out for the whole evening? And I was like, Well, sure, yeah. What’s going on? You know, you get that dad sense of something, or your mom sensed something, something more behind going on. And I said, you know, he just opened up, and he told me that his friend was really struggling at home. And there’s just mom and dad are fighting all the time. There’s so much tension and there’s so much pressure. And it’s just really it’s not a good space. And they just needed one night away from it all. And I was like, Sure, have them come over, and they hung out, and they had a great time together. But that’s just one little example, I think, of what’s happening in this world today.
So today, I want to give you some good, practical biblical advice on how to deal with some difficult people, how to deal with the Grinches. Does anybody want to hear what the Bible has to say about this? Right. It’s going to help anybody. All right. Now, I’ve done something a little different. I’ve never done this before, but I put I got three things I want to share, just three thoughts. And I put them all in a little bit of a Dr. Seuss-esque rhyme for you. All right. So, you know, I’m not a poet, but I did my best to help you remember them so that you can call them to memory when you’re standing there in front of a Grinch. “Okay. What a pastor say. What did he say?” Okay, so I put them in order, and here’s the first one if you want to write this down.
Number one, when they act before, you just stay cool, all right? When they act a fool, you just stay cool. You say, where does that come from? Right here in the Bible.
16 A fool’s wrath is known at once,
But a prudent man covers shame.
Proverbs 12:16
So when they act the fool, when they fly off the handle, when they’re nasty, when they’re grumpy, and they’re complaining with everything that comes out of their mouth, it’s just negative, like blah! You just stay cool. They hurl insults at you, or they, you know, say things that are just not nice, and they’re not kind, maybe towards you or towards somebody else. You just in that moment, you stay cool. Don’t take it personally. Like, don’t be so easily offended. Refuse to be offended by them. Because the reality is whatever is going on is most likely more about what’s in them than what’s in you. It has more to do with what is inside of them than what is inside of you.
See when people get angry with you, and maybe you’re driving, you know, somebody kind of maybe you make a mistake, you call, you forgot to put your turn signal on or, you know, something happens when you’re driving, and they give you that, hey, you’re the number one sign. You know what I’m talking about? Or when they’re rude, you know, in the restaurant or at the grocery store or where you’re shopping or in the parking lot, you know, when they’re just, you know, being nasty and like a Grinch, they’re telling you what’s in them. That’s really what’s happening. It’s they are revealing to you in that moment what’s really inside of them. So don’t be offended by it. Don’t. Don’t take it personally. Most like, it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them, you know.
And the reality is, there’s a lot of things to be offended by in this world, isn’t there? I get offended by a lot of things in this world. I get offended when people in the Poconos have to go to bed hungry at night. I get offended by injustice. I get offended by racism and bigotry. I get offended when women and children are sexually exploited. I get offended when a child’s life is taken inside the womb. There’s a lot of things that you can get offended by. But when it comes to your relationships, you know, just stay cool. I encourage you when they act a fool; you just stay cool. Don’t get into the whole, you know, tit-for-tat game with them. Oh, you yelled at me; I’m going to yell back at you. You insulted me. I’m going to insult you. You know, you’re not kind to me. I’m not going be kind to you. You hurt me. I’m going to hurt you back. Don’t be immature. Don’t be like the world. Don’t get easily offended by people. Especially people that you love when they say or they do things that just aren’t kind. When they act a fool, you just stay cool.
Here’s why, because how you respond in those situations. Is an indication of your level of emotional and spiritual maturity. And my hope, my prayer for you, is that you would be mature, that you would be wise, that you would live the example that Christ gave for us. That’s why when you’re dealing with someone that is offensive, and they’re irritating, and they’re just driving you up a wall, that you won’t take that thing personally, that you will have the ability to look past their behavior, to see the pain that’s driving it. That’s what mature people do. Because every behavior that someone exhibits it’s motivated by something. Did you know that? Every behavior is motivated by something. When people hurt someone, it’s typically because they’re hurting themselves inside. That’s why the old adage is true. Hurt people hurt people. And, you know, they’ve got some kind of fear, maybe some kind of insecurity, some kind of stress or pressure that maybe they’re not even aware of.
So a wise person, a mature person, instead of just being offended, instead of just lashing back, you will stay cool and look past the pain of their actions and behaviors, and you will just, you know, ask yourself or maybe even ask them. You know what’s going on? Why are you behaving this way? Did you get up on the wrong side of the bed this morning? You know, maybe you, in that moment, you’ll have some level of self-awareness. Think, what’s going on with that? Did they have a fight with her husband or with her wife earlier today? Are they experiencing some kind of, you know, I don’t know, money problems at home? Is there something going on at work that the pressure to perform is just getting the best of them? You know? Do they have a teenager that’s just driving them crazy? What is the pain in their life that’s causing them to be a pain to everybody else? And you ask yourself that question, and you stay curious. That’s what a mature person does. They stay cool under pressure, and they look past the behavior to the pain that is that is motivating. And then they try to seek to understand.
And, you know, here’s the reality. The more that you understand what’s going on in the other person’s life that’s driving in nuts, the more grace you have for them. Oftentimes, we have so little grace for people. It’s because we don’t even know what their situation is. We don’t know what’s going on with them. We don’t know anything about their story or why they’re behaving the way. You know, it’s like the story I read about a man, and he had three kids all under the age of 12, and he’s in New York City, and he got on the subway, and I sitting there on the train and his kids were just going nuts. They were just loud. They were obnoxious, running, bumping into people.
And finally, this Karen, some of you know what I’m talking about. No offense if your name is Karen, but just ask somebody that was, you know, under the age of 15. They’ll explain to you what a Karen is. She just starts just going nuts on the train, yelling at this guy. And he’s just kind of sitting there dazed and confused, not even really paying attention. Why don’t you take care of kids? What’s wrong with you? What kind of excuse for you are as a father and when your kids are out of control, and she was just letting him have it?
And finally, he kind of comes out of it, and he looks and looks at her, and he says, Oh, man, I’m so sorry. We just came from the hospital, and their mother just died. And I haven’t even told them yet. And I don’t know what to say. Now, if you know that, would you have a lot more grace for that dad and his kids? Sure you would. We don’t have grace for people that we don’t know what’s going on in their life. So a mature person with, when they act like a fool, they just stay cool, and they try to seek to understand what’s the motivation, what is the reasoning behind this?
11 A man’s understanding makes him slow to anger.
It is to his honor to forgive and forget a wrong done to him.
Proverbs 19:11
So wisdom, maturity, it gives you patience to understand what’s really going on in their heart, to understand their background, their situation. And what I’m really talking about here is love, like real love. That’s what we’re really talking about, how we love one another. The Bible says that the ability to stay cool, to not take it personally,is to refuse to be offended, that my friend, is a sign of mature love. It shows you how much love you have in your heart. And the more love you have in your heart towards other people, the more grace that you will have for them.
12 Hate starts fights, but love covers all sins.
Proverbs 10:12
That’s what love does. And the more love you have in your heart, the more you’ll be able to not take it personally when they say and do obnoxious, inappropriate things. And you’ll be able to overlook the wrongs that they do. Here’s what you need to know. When you show this kind of love. When you show this kind of grace from a grace-filled heart.
Here’s what you need to know about grace. Grace will always cost you something. Grace comes with a high price tag. It’s by grace. We’ve been saved through faith. Grace cost Jesus something. Grace cost Jesus his life when he laid his life down for you and me while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Aren’t you thankful that we have a Lord and Savior in Jesus that was willing come on to pay the costs that grace requires of you and me? So yes, you may be hurt. Yes, you may have your feelings damaged yet, but you overlook that. And you give them grace because grace will always cost you something. So when they act a fool, you stay cool. Can I get an amen from somebody?
All right, here’s the second one. Ready? Here’s. Here’s how we deal with difficult people when they set the trap. I take a step back. Don’t fall for the bait, don’t fall for it.
Here’s what I’ve noticed about Grinches. These critical, you know, naysayers are typically also they just they’re very argumentative. You have noticed that? Grinches they love to argue. They love to get a rise out of you. They love just to get your old ticker going on in your face. They just love that. They love pushing your buttons. And don’t they know exactly what buttons to push? You all know what I’m talking about. You know why they love to do that? You know why they love to argue. They love to, you know, get your temperature rise. And here’s why. Because they love to get your attention because they’re so insecure.
They love just to be the center of your world and have you responding to them on Facebook or Instagram or whatever, you know, social media platform and just drive you nuts. And they love that. So here’s what I’m suggesting. Don’t play their game. Refuse to play their game. You know, people that are negative, they just want to take you down to your lowest point and get in the mud with them, but don’t play their game. But I know what you’re thinking because I used to think the same thing.
But, Dave, if I could just explain to them, rationally, clearly, if I could just lay out the argument with the truth and help them understand why their behavior is so annoying or irritating, or why their body language or why you know what the words that are coming out of their mouth are so offensive and inappropriate. Like, though, I’m going to lay it out for them. Clearly, logically, it’ll be wonderful. And then the light bulb will come on. They’ll have this epiphany. And then they’ll look at me, and they’ll say, Oh, thank you so much. Thank you for helping me see this character flaw and me, and thank you so much. And matter of fact, because of this, I’m going to change. Do you understand? Like, that does not work. Like 99% of the time, when you try to do that, guess who ends up getting hurt? You do! You end up being on the wrong end of that.
See, the reality is you can’t talk people out of a behavior that they didn’t talk themselves into. Say that again, and you can’t talk somebody out of something that they didn’t talk themselves into. You see? Every behavior is motivated by an emotion. And when people have these negative behaviors, they’re attached to negative emotions. It’s called motivational reasoning that, Oh, I act this way because I feel this way when I act this way. So, therefore, that’s my reason to act this way. And so you can’t talk somebody out of that. You can’t use logic. You can’t use reasoning to talk somebody out of something that they didn’t use logic or reasoning to talk themselves into. They used emotion. Emotion was what drove them to be the way that they are.
And, Jesus completely understood this. That’s why He taught and what I believe has been often the most misunderstood and misinterpreted Scripture that Jesus ever shared. Here’s what Jesus said about this point.
6 “Don’t waste what is holy on people who are unholy.
Don’t throw your pearls to pigs!
They will trample the pearls, then turn and attack you.
Matthew 7:6
You see, you would think that, well, I guess what Jesus is saying here is that, you know, I’m not going to give something that is holy or good, you know, to like bad people, like dogs. I’m not going to give something a pearl that’s valuable to somebody who’s a pig. We don’t give pearls to pigs because, you know, you know, God wouldn’t do that. So God doesn’t give good things to bad people. And God doesn’t want me to then to, you know, you know, forgive somebody to be the loving or give of my time and show value to somebody who’s a dog or a pig. But Jesus wouldn’t say that. What he especially when you look at the broader context of what Jesus is saying here, he’s introducing us to the Kingdom of God, which is the exact opposite of that which the Kingdom of God says, Yeah, God does give and extend good things to very bad people because he’s for everyone that if you come to him, he doesn’t love you based on how good or bad you are. He doesn’t love you based on your performance or your ability to be kind or not. He loves you based on how good he is, not how good you are. That’s why this is for everyone. That’s the heart of the gospel that nobody goes to heaven just because their good works outweigh their bad workers because of the good work of Jesus Christ on the cross, that when he who knew no sin, he became sin for us so that we might become the righteousness of God. So obviously, Jesus wouldn’t say, don’t give good things to bad people. That’s not what he’s saying.
Here’s what I think Jesus is saying. He is saying don’t give unsolicited or ill-timed advice to somebody who’s not ready to hear it. Because if you do, they’re not the problem. You become the problem. And you’re the one who gets torn into pieces when you give. Good things. To a good person at the wrong time. You end up getting hurt. You end up on the wrong end of the stick. Some of you were thinking because this where you are your relationships, that God has given you wisdom. God has given you insight for that person. And you’re thinking, every time I try to talk to them, they end up just biting my fingers. Yeah, that’s exactly what they’re going to do because they’re not ready to hear it.
Jesus is saying, look, don’t give a pearl to a pig. Because a pearl is of no value to a pig. He’s not calling people pigs or dogs. He’s just trying to help us understand this through this metaphor that you wouldn’t give something valuable to somebody who it won’t help them to pearls, to pigs. They’re inedible. They had no value. And when you have this, when you have wisdom, when you have insight, when you can help literally help this person, but yet they’re not ready to receive it, let alone even listen to it or hear it. Jesus says it’s an act of grace in that moment, to take a step back, just keep your mouth shut. That’s an act of grace.
When Jesus came 2000 years ago in the Book of John, it says, In the beginning, was the word, the logos. That’s Jesus. He doesn’t just point to the word just to teach the word. He is the word. In the beginning, was the word, and the word was with God, and the word was God. And the word dwelt among us for a little while. So when Jesus, he comes to show us what our Heavenly Father is really like. That God has a word for you, that God has something to say to each and every one of you through Jesus Christ. And you read on in the next version. It says, from the beginning of His word, word was with God, word was God and dwelt among us. It’s God coming in the form of man, Jesus of the Christmas, and that it says, “He was full of grace and full of truth.” You remember that? Full of grace and full of truth.
Here’s what that means. It means it. What does it mean? That Jesus was like 50% grace and then 50% truth? It means that Jesus was 100% grace and 100% truth. Here’s the thing you need to know about Grace. Grace never, never, never, never, never, ever, ever, ever ignores the truth. Grace always deals with the truth. And there is a time, and there is a place. That’s what the Bible says. We need to speak truth to one another in love. But there’s also a time when we refrain.
We take a step back, and we keep our mouth shut because we know that whoever we’re talking to will not receive it. And if they don’t receive it, there is no value to them. Then it makes things worse. And you end up getting torn to pieces. You understand what I’m saying? You see, here’s what we need. We need to be harmless as doves and wisest serpents. We need to know when to say the truth and when to, by grace, withhold and refrain so that we don’t become part of the problem. Have you ever try to push something onto somebody? They’re not ready to receive it. If you’ve ever had a teenager, you know exactly what I’m talking about. They don’t want to hear it. Not from you, Mom. Not from you, dad. So when you try to continue to share that, even though it’s a good thing. It ends up coming back to bite you. So we need to have the courage of when to speak and when to be silent and the wisdom to know the difference. Is that helping anybody?
Come on with being pigs. Quit losing your fingers, getting trampled on by feeding pigs. And when they try to set the trap, just take a step back and say, you know what? In this situation and this scenario, I’m just going to keep it to myself because I know I will actually end up doing more harm than good. All right.
Here’s number three. You want to write this down? How do we deal with difficult people when they act for you? Just equal when they set the trap? Come on. Don’t play their game. Just take a step back. Grace, who oftentimes lead you even to refrain. And last of all. Always do what is right. With all of your might.
What I’m trying to say. Take the high road. Always take the high road. Always stay on the high ground. Always, always. Always. Always. Always do what is right. Even when the Grinch does what is wrong. Always do what is right. You have got to use all of your might. Always do it. If they insult you, you treat them with kindness. If they’re unloving to you, you be loving to them. If they’re resentful to you, you be forgiving towards them. If they are mean to you, you be nice to them. Always take the high ground. It doesn’t matter what the Grinch does. What matters is what you do. Always, always, always. Take the high ground. Do what is right with all of your might. Because here’s what I’ve learned.
Two things. You can never make anybody do anything. Well, if you haven’t figured this out, you better figure it out quick. I’m trying to tell you, you can never make anybody do anything.
Second thing. You cannot control what others do. You can’t control how they think about you. You can’t control what they say about you, especially behind your back. You can’t control what they do about you. You have no control over any of those issues. But the good news is you have 100% control on how you respond to what others say or do. See, that’s your choice. That’s your decision. And when you respond, may it be with a heart that’s full of grace. A heart that’s motivated by love. Because that, my friend, is what pleases God.
14 Bless those who persecute you.
Don’t curse them;
pray that God will bless them.
Romans 12:14
Look what it says. Bless those. What do we do? Bless the say with me. Bless those who persecute you. Say, Well, I don’t know, nobody’s persecuting me. Well, let’s just cross that out and say, bless those that are driving you crazy. Bless those that are irritating you on your last nerve. Annoying that, ohhhh, make me want to just lose my salvation. Go to the alter all over again. Bless those people. Don’t curse them. Pray that God will bless them. You say, Well, how do I do that?
We’ll come back next week, and I’m going to tell you how to do that. All right. I’m going to tell you a story next week that maybe you’ve never heard in all the scriptures, and it’s going to help you grow a more forgiving heart.
17 Never pay back evil with more evil.
Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable.
18 Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone.
Romans 12:17-18
I’m going to talk more about this next week, too, is going to help a lot of you. And then the piece de resistance. Here’s what he says. Here’s how he wraps the whole thing up. Never pay back evil with more evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see that you are honorable. Do all that you can to live at peace with everyone and go to the next one.
21 Don’t let evil conquer you, but conquer evil by doing good.
Romans 12:21
You can’t conquer, and you cannot overcome grinches, difficult people, annoying people, insulting people with more insults. You can’t conquer evil with more evil. You can only conquer evil with good. So try with all of your might. To live that good life. Always do what is right, regardless of what the other person chooses to say or do.
You always take the high road when they act a fool, stay cool when they try to set the trap and lure you and bring you down to their lowest level common denominator. You just take a step back. And last of all, always do what is right with all your might. And God will bless you. And he will help you flourish in your relationships.